Tommorow will be a better day and the sun will shine

Recently I had a discussion with a guy who had become one of my best friends, we had bceome really really close. My mistake is that I fell for him, not at first but after the first time we kissed I fell for him, I told him how I felt but decided we would jsut be friends. I was ok with that, I slowly got over liking him, but... then it that all changed, we made out adn i was like well what the heck, you dont make out with your "friends", I thought ok maybe this was just a one time thing caught up in the moment thing, but it happened 2 more times after that, and holding hands like we did was not something "friends" do, I was confused at what was going on, asked myself "what are we doing?" "what are we?" so I decided to find out, well yeah stepped in a pile of crap on that one, he made me feel like it was my fault, I think i remeber it being said that he believed what we were doing was wrong and he was just going along with me... WTF is that.... Whatever, the only thing that matters is that I love myself, I think thats what makes this time harder, because I have found respect and love for myself and thought that maybe just someone else did too, like me as more than a friend, I Love myself and to let myself get hurt was a mistake I should have prepared for. BUT... at least I am learning lessons, I was told that every trial and every breakdown we have in life is a new begining a time to start new and begin with a clean slate. My best friend of the last what i think 6 yrs told me last night that its time to stop trying to help everyone else and to help myself and focus on me, So I know he is right and its time for me to refocus and not lose sight of my goals. He also told me that I need to figure out what i want in life and figure out how to get it, well I thought about it, and the one thing i want I know i can never have, but career wise my dreams and goals of becoming a Singer will come true, I will make the sacrifices that are needed to become the one thing I have only dreamed of being. I realized this morning as I looked at before and after photos from last year to this year That I am freakin hot! I mean I look amazing, and After i reach my final goal weight and get some palstic surgery done in January Watch out is all I have to say. the funny thing is, even though Im still in love with my best friend, I am learning to live with it and make it something different, I am going to allow myself to leave my comfort zone, I am gonna get out and see the world, I read some of the book of mormon this morning and read about temples and realize that I do still have a testimony, I know that the my choice of being  LDS was the right one, I know that the church is true and that I am more able to cope with things being a member and having something to believe in, I  Do BELIEVE with all my heart, Change is coming and its for the better!

in the words of Dolly Parton

NOW WE DONT KNOW WHAT HEAVEN LOOKS LIKE

BUT WEVE SEEN ENOUGH HELL RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW

BUT WHEN THE ROAD IS THE ROUGHEST

AND THE PROBLEMS ARE THE TOUGHEST

OR WHEN THE TIMES ARE THE HARDEST

AND THAT OLE SKY IS THE DARKEST

YOU GOTTA KEEP THE FAITH CUZ I BELIEVE THERES A BETTER DAY

AND THOSE OL BLUES WHY THERE JUS GONNA ROLL RIGHT ON AWAY

I KNOW THEY ARE LISTEN TO ME

ALL THATS BLUE AINT SKY AND SEA

SOME OF THAT BLUES BOUND TO GET ON ME

BUT THE BLUES DONT COME TO STAY

THEYLL MOVE AWAY ON A BETTER DAY

TROUBLES AND WOES AND MISERY

AINT GONNA GET THE BEST OF ME

LIFT THE SHADES FIX MY GAZE

ON A BETTER DAY CLEAR AWAY

BETTER DAYS JUST UP AHEAD

WHEN SORROW AINT SLEEPIN IN MY BED

WHEN PEOPLE AINT MESSIN WITH MY HEAD

THERES A BETTER WAY THERES A BRIGHTER DAY

OH THERES A BETTER DAY WITH CLEARER SKIES

HOPE AND PROMIS ON THE RISE

OH THE FUTURE WELL ITS LOOKIN BRIGHT ON A BETTER DAY

LOOK AWAY LOOK AWAY

THERES A BETTER DAY

BETTER DAYS JUST UP AHEAD

WHEN SORROW AINT SLEEPIN IN MY BED

WHEN PEOPLE AINT MESSIN WITH MY HEAD

THERES A BETTER DAY THERES A BETTER DAY

OH ALL THATS BLUE IT AINT SKY AND SEA

SOME OF THAT BLUES GONNA FALL ON ME

OH THE FUTURES LOOKIN BRIGHT

THERES A BETTER DAY LOOK AWAY LOOK AWAY

THANKS DOLLY FOR THIS SONG

THANKS TO MY BEST FRIEND <3

THANKS TO HEAVENLY FATHER FOR BEING THERE AND LOVING ME EVEN AFTER I STRAY FROM THE PATH.

I AM THANKFUL FOR REPENTANCE AND THE ATONEMENT OF CHRIST

ITS TIME TO MOVE FORWARD, ONWARD, AND UP WARD, TIME TO TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS AND RIDE IT TILL IT BREAKS, I WILL ACCOMPLISH EVERYTHING I SET FORTH TO DO AND I WILL SHOW EVERYONE THAT I AM NOT A FORCE TO MESS WITH

I AM AN AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, LOYAL, GENUINE, ENCOURAGING, LOVING, CARING, DEVOTED, DEDICATED, SUPPORTING, HUMOROUS, ADVENTUROUS, SPONTANEOUS, LOCQUACIOUS, ENERGETIC, MUSICAL, ROMANTIC, SEXY YOUNG WOMAN

WHO WILL NOW NOT LET ANYTHING STOP HER!