Monday, November 7, 2011


Well that was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life.. one week ago I told my best friend that it was time to part ways. It took everything I had to tell him. I know that my love for him will not change, and I know that it was not a healthy relationship pretending that we were ok. I know that we would never be together I know that would only be friends, I wasnt dilussional I just fell in love with him despite his flaws cuz i even fell in love with those...Lol.... The heartache of being his friend, however has been eating away at me for awhile. Its like being allergic to your favorite food and keeping it in the fridge where you see it everyday, haunting you, taunting you, but you can never have it.. the decision needed to be made, and hopefully it was the right decision. I am not handling my own decision very well, however, I feel as though my soul is sinking into a dark hole and I shattered my own heart into a million pieces. Im just glad that I am good at puzzles but I am starting to wonder that in making this decision did I lose a piece of my heart? only time will tell where the roads will go, and what will be waiting when we get there. I will, for now, move forward in life knowing how amazing I am and knowing what he is missing out on, I will carry on and lean on my faith in God to carry me through this difficult time. I will prepare my self for te amazing future I know awaits me. I will always love and care for him, I will never forget all the amazing time we spent together, I will never forget how much he helped me and all the hard times he was there for me. I just wish there was another way but my love for him is making me crazy and jealous, and its not healthy... I will miss him greatly, I feel like I died in side the day I said goodbye.. but i guess I am getting a few great songs out of it... farewell my friend, I Love you with all my heart and soul. I know you prolly wont read this but by the slight chance you. Im sorry I fell in Love with you...
This will just make me stronger... I will overcome and survive...
I will be ok again!

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