Monday, September 26, 2011


life can be as fragile as a stained glass window at times. Think about it we work through life picking out the good times and keeping them to get us through adding these beautiful pieces to our window and when one breaks or the piece doesnt fit we set it aside and continue on to the next piec in order to complete the big picture that the window should become, like and image of christ, modeling our lifes so that each piece in the end will come as close to a resemblence of the christs life was. we may not always have the exact pieces but they can come close. and at times we may lose some pieces and have to search for them. Then when we finally get it done things are looking great and we put the window out on display to share with the world and set an example, working hard to protect it from the bumps in the road as we transport it  place to place just to arrive at a destination. a destination we think is safe somewhere we are comfortable, and feel safe and then out of no where two rocks fly out of nowhere and shatter all the hard work you have put into your beautiful window (life) those rocks can represent anything (alcohol, immorality, cussing, drama, gossip, or anything really) its those times when you look at the hard work shattered on the floor with only a little of the window left still clinging on to the frame, and this isnt the first time, everytime you take your window out it gets shattered.

this to me is like life, people overexaggerate things that were said, friends talk about friends behind their backs yet when caught deny it to their face. friends leave other friends out, feelings get hurt, things get blown out of proportion, people make other people feel stupid, fake or inadequate, feelings get hurt, people give into temptations and allow their inhibitions go, regret sets in afterwards and can eat away at a persons soul, people let the words and actions of others bring them down, stress them out and build up inside with a feeling of worthlessness. some people relapse to hurting themselves to feel better, whether they hurt themselves mentally or physically its still damaging.

hearing "your fat" or being rejected or judged because you are overweight takes its toll over time, leads to eating disorders and other addictions to heal from the pain that is caused. people in need of a release form overwhelming pain will turn to other things that will hurt worse and just cause more pain in the end I know from expeirence.

I talked to an old friend today who gave me some good advice and really uplifted my spirits from the Drama that is going on and from the pain and stress I have been dealing with the last couple months. he said to me " dont let the actions and words of others dictate how you feel about yourself, you are who you are and ou my dear are a beautiful smart daughter of god." we talked awhile and we discussed how hearing that you are no good enough, not pretty enough or not skinny enough can take its toll on a person and it was nice to hear (from a guy) " that you are smart enough, and you are beautiful thats for sure..." it was a little sunshine in a day that started out with clouds, fog, thunder lightning, a hurricane, a tornado, a few eathquakes, and a wildfire. Im glad I was able to have a conversation with someone who lives no where near here, and who always has positivity and love. I am grateful for heavenly father for giving me that sunshine today. he also bore his testimony of the church to me and helped me to realize that all I really need in life is my testimony and my faith, and everything else will fall into place as it should, I vow from this day forward to work my hardest to stay true to my faith, read my scriptures and follow the doctrines and the holy spirit.

I believe that everytime someone throws a rock through our beautiful stained glass windows of life, everytime we put forth the effort to rebuild it we make it that much stronger so that each time a rock is thrown again less and less of the window breaks and it is easier to fix/mend each time, unti leventually we will have built our windows (lives) so strong that nothing will be able to break it and it will last on into eternity with us!

I love you all
I know the LDS church is true
I know the scriptures can help guide us through the trials (blessings) in life
I know that we become stronger everytime we fall and get back up
I have a testimony of the greatness of the atonement of christ
I know heavenly father knows each of us individually and loves us all personally
in jesus name

1 comment:

  1. Thank you sooo much for posting this today. I so needed it. Something happened the other day that made me say to myself,"I wish I was still surrounded by my fat." I wished that because then I would have a reason to blame that rejection on. But I do not wish I was as big as I used to be. I was miserable in that body and how it held me back from doing the things I so wanted to do. 8 shots of insulin a day really cramped my style! So screw him. I'm beautiful!