Sunday, September 12, 2010
Life Through undefined eyes
My first expierience in music was when i recieved my first Dolly Parton CD when I was very young. I listened to that CD every cahnce I got! Dolly Parton has been my inspiration ever since I heard that first CD. I have read all about her and love how she Worked so hard to accomplish her dreams. her birthday is just 3 days after mine and she opened her amusement park the same year i was born 1985. I aspire to be a singer somday and be famous, when I meet that goal I want to be a positive role model for the youth of the present and future. Life through undefined eyes has endless possibilities. I travel as much as I possibly and financially can. Life throws so many obstacles as we grow up wheter they come in the form of school mates teasing and making fun of you everyday or if it comes in the form of a guy whom you thought you could possibly love forever breaking your heart. but with the right attitude and the right outlook those obstacles will make us stronger and grow into the most real and authentic form of ourselves. being able to overcome and let go of those things from the past makes us better and more prepared for the future. I have faced many ibstacles through the years, form being overweight all my life and being made fun of constantly, to fighting with low self esteem but a drive to be noticed, to struggling with emotions of not being good enough and thoughts of suicide, and being in a toxic relationship involving alcohol and an abusive male. I always find it hard to find the words to describe how growing up with the self doubt of being good enough and balancing that with a heart that is being driven to be the center of the stage lights and singing with all my soul to an audience of thousands maybe even millions. I have been driven by my devotion to music to sing every chance i get, even when i feel as scared as a 12 point buck during hunting season. even through the stage fright I wanted to be the best i could be, which led to me feeling the most comfotable and the most confident while up on stage under the brightness of the stagelights. I went through most of my life depressed but when i was in stage singing I was so happy and nothing else seemed to exist for that short moment. Church is another big part of my life i joined the Mormon (LDS) church when I was 16 and am still an active member to this day. I believe that the LDS doctrine is true and love the teachings that can be found within the pages of the scriptures. Those books have always been a huge guidance and strength to me in hard times along with prayer. I have found who i really am through the many trials that have happened in my life, I have written alot in journals while sitting on the beach in Southern California, listening to support from numerous family members and attendind a self inporvement workshop, through all these outlets I am able to find my true self the superwoman who was hiding behind undefined eyes waiting to be defined, I have been able to define those blues eyes, Beautiful, Caring, Loyal, Respectful, Creative, Talented, Adventurous, Spontaneous, Loving, Exciting, Happy, and ready for the amazing future that awaits in this unscripted life that we live!