Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Love is NOT blind

So the saying goes, "Love is blind". That is so not true.... so you may be asking why? I will share my opinion on this...

So its a hot fall evening and the conversation about attraction and dating and other such things comes up, Now I will tell you this is one topic that I just cannot keep my mouth shut about because I find todays ways of thinking disgusting and immature.

The topic was brought to a point of how being attractive and or attracted to a person is the most important and then personality! THAT IS DISGUSTING AND BACKWARDS!!!! I believe that someones personality is the most important thing of an individual and that is the only thing a relationship should be based on and everything else should, you know there is another saying that many people forget that says, " Beauty fades with time, but an ugly personality will always be the same." You see as we age the outward appearance will fade, YES, you can spend uber amounts of money on plastic surgery, face lifts, butt lifts, tummy tucks, a nip here and a tuck there and soon you look..... well ok so most likely youll look like a freak! REALLY.... MONEY DOESNT BUY BEAUTY! because no matter how many surgeries you have, they dont got a surgery to give you a better personality. I have to say there are many times that I have heard this same concversation, about how some guy, is ok with being friends with someone but, EWWW I would never date them have you looked at them! hmmm... whats wrong with this, It was just stated the other night in a conversation with a male lets call him MOGLEY, well here is what he said.... " HOW CAN YOU DATE SOME ONE IF YOUR DISGUSTED TO TOUCH THEM"   WOW!!!! talk about harsh, so ok this is sad I mean here is a person I thought would have class, have respect, be a guy who has more respect for a woman then just how her outward appearance is, BUT no... I was wrong... You see, Guys will pass over the girl who heaven forbid, is overweight, short, too tall, maybe has a different look, wrong hair color, has freckles, or maybe they wear glasses, But hey they all get there chance sooner or later, (hopefully they hold out hoping one day a guy can get off his high horse get over himself and figure out that its not what the person looks like that matters)

     Ok so heres a little history about me. I have been overweight since I was in the 4th grade, So pretty much my entire life, So Believe me when I tell you that I know how it feels to be the punch line of many jokes, The victim of endless torment and teasing. to be pushed around and kicked, bullied everyday and made fun of everday of school from 4th grade until I graduated High School. Well do you think it has ended there>? NO!!! To this day I am still made fun of and teased, whether by people I know or someone makes a comment while im out at some place enjoying myself. I have spent My entire life trying to figure out why I had to be overweight, WHY ME!!! I mean I am an amazing person, strong, determined, Loyal, caring, and always there for the people who need me. I spent my entire teen years in massive amounts of depression, spending lunches sitting alone, or hiding from the tormentors. Not going to recess because I knew that if I went to the playground they were going to start laughin and calling me names. I failed PE because I was afraid to run and be made fun of, and I wouldnt change into PE clothes because the girls would make fun of me. Growing up FAT is not fun, It is a life of HELL literally being told everyday that you are ugly, a blimb, fatter, worthless, your a waste of space, marshmellow, cow, heffer and a never ending amount of names and jokes, it wears on a persons soul, I spent many times alone contemplating if it was even worth going on anymore, If I end it now then maybe everyones life would be better. BUT NO!!! that was not the answer, I had a purpose (even though I dont know what that is) to fulfill, I was just gonna have to suffer. and suffer i did every day of every year until 2010. This year I was at a major cliff in life and was about to fall over the edge, I didnt know where to go or what to do, I was lost and and had lost my identity, I didnt know who I truly was anymore, I had lost hold of my dreams and my goals, I let go of everything that meant anything to me to fall into a mold to please other people, well at this cliff just before I fell I found aid in my Godfather ( who is also my angel) he lead me to New Era, workshops for self improvement, Well those helped me find myslef, and empowered me to pull out, shift my attitude and become the person I had inside my authentic self.. THE REAL JENNIFER!!!

So no you know my story, lets get back to this love is not blind thing, I have been on 2 real dates and they were fun. but come on 2 dates in 10 years of dating aged life!!! REALLY! Ahh yes but remeber I am Overweight... HAHA guys dont want to date girls who are FAT... they want that girl that is skinny and who cares if she has a personality or not, SHE IS SKINNY!! so yes. Take for example. I had a best friend along time ago, we were best friends for 6 years.....yep 6 years. We were so close I knew his family he knew mine, we would always do stuff together, sing with each other, talk for hours on the phone about nothing and get lost in thos conversations, BUT.... no matter how close we were He said he would not date me, I asked him why once right before graduating High School and moving on to bigger and better things, and he said, Well I love hanging out with you, and I love your personality... BUT... well your just to fat... I was astounded by this, flabbergasted and speechless. I had nothing to say to him, EVER AGAIN, I have not talked to him since 2003 since that day I would never see or talk to him again, that disgusted me. REALLY, how can you be like that, so close, best friends, happy and want to spend time with each other, but because oh you dont have the right look, your not worth my time to call a girlfriend??? REALLY!!!

I now have the understanding that No matter what happens, at least now I LOVE ME!!! and my father in heaven loves me and honestly that is all that matters, Yes... I want the companionship of someone, but its not the most important thing anymore, I am sick of being rejected by guys because I am overweight, WELL GUESS WHAT!!! that can change with time, and guess what, I have the most amazing personality, I am fun, have a great sense of humor, Love to be outdoors, Loyal, caring, respectful, hard working, sympathetic, adventurous, spontaneous and BEAUTIFUL!!! INSIDE AND OUT....

Guys need to get over themselves and realize that even though a girl maybe DIFFERENT... doesnt mean that she is worthless. She may be the most amazing woman that they will never get to know

** p.s. this is not all guys just like maybe 90%, Thankfully there are those 10% that arent shallow or conceited to care about only what someone looks like!!!

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